The Dancers Psyche

Today I’m sat here in front of my TV at around 6pm, a water bottle, an empty tea cup, an empty bowl and a protein shaker full of pre-workout at splayed on the table in front of me. About an hour and a half ago I had planned on going to the gym, but I’m still sat here. If you’re anything like me, you’re quick to give yourself a kick in the ass to get your shit done, and when you don’t, you’re the first to call yourself out for the worthless and lazy jerk that you are.

The thing is, yesterday I woke up with a monster cold. I also had a VERY important audition followed by another fierce dance audition. After I got home last night I ate and passed out by 8:30pm. I pulled myself out of bed this morning at around 10am. Sounds luxurious right? That’s exactly how my brain framed it too, but in actuality I full on super mode raged yesterday and then shut down last night in response. In all honesty I’m still sick today. So now, when I look at that pre-workout and think about how lazy I am, I realize that It might actually be more beneficial to just take the whole day.

Then, probably because of the DayQuil, I started reflecting. Why do I jump to being lazy and worthless? Is that too aggressive? I don’t actually know the answer, if I’m honest. There’s a fine line between being studious and driven, and actually being lazy. I’m just trying to make sure I’m on the right side. What the answer is, looks like I’m sitting out today.