What a difference a year makes
It has been almost a year since I last wrote an update, and in the midst of this global pandemic, I decided what better time to post an update. This is probably going to be long and ramble quite a bit because a lot has happened over the past year… So, here we go.
I think the easiest way to go would be to take chronologically. So, with that in mind, shortly before booking High Button Shoes I found out that I would be in the cast of the 1st National Tour of Disney’s Frozen! I can’t tell you how excited I was to have booked this job. My first week of rehearsals for the Aladdin national tour I was asked to submit for the role of Kristoph in the, then upcoming, broadway version of Frozen. Obviously I didn’t book that, but it planted a seed in my head and became something I very much wanted to do. A week after I left the aladdin, in fact, I was called in to audition as an immediate replacement for a role in the broadway company of Frozen. Again, I didn’t book it, but I was so close I could feel it! Finally, while out on the road again with Aladdin, I saw a casting call for the national tour. I knew this was my shot, and having auditioned so many times already I e-mailed one of the casting directors asking if I could submit from the road, hours later I recorded an audition packet. Many months and even more callbacks later, I received my offer. Fast forwarding to the present, I am loving being a part of this show, I’m in the ensemble and I’ve gone on as King Agnar and Pabbie, both of the roles I understudy. I can see myself being a part of this show for a while, assuming it’s still around after this pandemic. Unfortunately however, with the good comes the bad, and shortly before leaving for tour I would have to make the hardest decision I’ve ever made.
Despite finding out about Frozen in April, rehearsals didn’t start until September. Which meant I had a full summer at home in New York with my girlfriend. We had been together for just over 4 years, of which I had been on the road with one show or another for a good 2-2 1/2 years. Over that time we had made a lot of plans, we had moved in together in a brand new apartment in a nice part of NYC, and were making our way towards marriage. Sadly, the more time I spent at home, the more we realized that something was missing. As the first out of town dates approached for Frozen, we decided to take some time to really think about what we wanted. Ultimately, I decided to end our relationship. Not because she did anything wrong, but because we were no longer in the same place. If you’ve never experienced a break up not because someone did something wrong, but because you’re just no longer in sync… it is the most heartbreaking experience you can imagine. I still love and care for her immensely, and the forced distance of tour life has been a blessing and a curse, and I’m still dealing with its effects.
Finding the positive learning moments from that have been… difficult… but I know they are there, and I remind myself that as unfortunate as it is, tragedy and heartbreak builds character and depth in humans, and more importantly in artists. I’ve broken down a few times and I’m trying to get to know myself again as I rebuild. Which brings us to COVID-19… How crazy is this sh*t right now?! They say every generation deals with some kind of world changing tragedy, but I thought it would have been 9/11(yes, I’m that old). There have been many times that I wondered what the world would be like if everything just stopped. I never thought I’d actually witness it. But amid everything, my show getting suspended, not having a home to return to, not knowing if I’ll have a job to return to, and the countless other worries that seem to grow daily because of this pandemic, I am grateful. Yes, grateful. Of course for the obvious stuff like having had savings and working for a company with the means and will to take of it employees, and for my best friend and his wife for letting me live with them during this crazy time. But I’m also grateful for the trials I’ve been going through up to this point, because it was conditioning me to know how to better myself in hard times, training me to find ways to keep the negative thoughts out, and allowed me to be comfortable with myself… for the most part. There are still days that are harder than others, but that’s life in the best of times too.
So, there you have it, a year in a nutshell. A year full of joy and heartbreak, and a global catastrophe, the likes of which we have never seen, but will get through. Of that I’m sure, because I look over the past year and see how much has changed, and I’m still here to write about it. And you’re here to read about it.
Love and positivity to you all.
